Wednesday Wonders: is it ever the end?

This may seem like quite a morbid title but that is definitely not my intention! Over the last few months I have been receiving some therapy and earlier in the week I came to the end of my sessions. But was it the end?

I may have stopped going for face to face sessions but the therapy is still ongoing. I have learned a lot about myself and it is affecting me on a day to day basis; we’ve also put things in to place to help me deal with situations in the future.

It felt rather surreal as I was travelling home from my appointment but now I just see that as a necessary part of the journey to help me move forward with more confidence and feeling more comfortable with me.

When we come to the end of our time in education, it’s not the end it’s a step on to the next part.

If we come to the end of a road we don’t find a whole load of people still standing there, people may turn around and head back or they may know of a footpath to take them elsewhere.

We may reach the end of certain things but I don’t think it’s THE END it’s just a step to the next section all you need to do is take that step!

Wednesday Wonders: Never too late

So last Wednesday I was lovingly ‘bullied’ in to starting to crochet. Above you can see my attempts since then. I would like to point out that I’ve not followed any patterns, just trying to master some of the basics. I managed to make some things by accident but I’m getting there. Next is to follow patterns and actually create things that are recognisable.

It really is true that it never is too late to learn! It never is too late to change our habits; it never is too late to follow our dreams!

Wednesday Wonders: did you notice?

Over the last fortnight I’ve heard numerous times the statement along the lines of “I didn’t notice how much The Queen meant until she wasn’t here. I think this is also something we often feel about people who are no longer in our lives through whatever circumstances.

However, today a friend of mine was telling some others changes that she had noticed about me in recent weeks. I got ridiculously embarrassed but was also aware that I hadn’t really noticed myself. I left where we were feeling happier, more confident than when I woke up this morning.

This made me wonder; do we take the time to notice things about others? Do we take the time to tell people that we’ve noticed and if necessary take the time to see if there is anything they need?

If we take the time to notice then others may take the time as well – who knows what the chain reaction may lead to.

Wednesday Wonders: ourselves and others

I have just returned home from a housegroup; I wasn’t sure if I was going to blog today but after our housegroup I felt I should.

In Philippians 2:4 it says “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others”

In my first reading of this, this evening, I started to question my own actions and thoughts at the moment, thinking that maybe I was being selfish. However, in a second reading I read the words “only” and “also”. It’s not that we shouldn’t look to our own interests, but that they shouldn’t be our sole focus. I was encouraged to think that actually but looking after our own interests, so often that then allows us to be of blessing to others, and to care for the interests of others.

The reason I wasn’t sure about writing this week is because of the death of Queen Elizabeth II; however this passage brought to mind some of the key things that many people have been saying in the many programmes of the last week. One thing that has really struck me is that people said that she didn’t ‘try’ to be queen, she accepted that it was who she was and that was the life she lived. How often do we try to be something or someone other than who we are? But also if we go back to looking after ourselves to serve others; the Queen knew how important it was to spend time with the family, and time away from the formalities – as much as possible.

We are called to be a blessing; we need to bless ourselves so that we can bless others.

Wednesday Wonders: destination vs purpose

At the weekend the husband had the day off we knew that we wanted to do something but we weren’t entirely sure what. The husband came up with the suggestion of going for a walk which would end up in a village pub; it turned out to be a 90 minute walk and a lovely meal (possibly with a couple of pints).

When I spoke to my mum afterwards she asked why we had walked over there; my response was “why not?”. The husband however said he felt better knowing that we were heading to a specific place, that there was a destination.

Do we have to have a purpose for doing things?

Do we always need to have a destination?

I definitely don’t think we need to have both of these; different people will prefer to have to have one or the other; I think it’s definitely better to have at least a destination or a purpose but sometimes it may just be because…

Team Time

Over the weekend I’ve watched two things; both VERY different but with a similar message! I never thought that I’d be saying that about the BBC drama Hustle and the Disney Pixar movie The Incredibles but it was an observation that I made.

So, first watch was Hustle. Micky, who is the group’s ‘leader’ was trying to run a scam but hadn’t really told the others in the group what he was up to. This meant that he was struggling. It wasn’t until it was pointed out to him that he needed the skills of the others that he actually ended up being rather successful.

Second watch ‘the Incredibles’. Mr. Incredible works on his own, he leaves the family at home. Even when they find where he has gone to, and they actually rescue him, he still tries to go off by himself. He finally realised that they are stronger when they work together.

It is so easy to think that we are better off on our own. I know quite frequently I think it will be much better for me to stay on my own than it would be to be with others. There are also many times when I’ve felt like that but when I did meet up with others I felt better.

Working with others, as a team, is so important though. There are numerous reasons for this including sharing different skills; encouraging each other; sharing ideas

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having down and personal time but never underestimate the value of being part of a team!

Wednesday Wonders: try again

Last night I went for a ‘run’ – I’m using that term very loosely as I’m sure anyone who saw me would agree! But hey I’m using the app and yesterday was the 7th ‘run’.

I struggled. Not only were the ‘running’ sections very slow but I didn’t even manage to complete one of the running sections either.

Fortunately the next run is the same as yesterday so hopefully I will be able to complete it all this time. Before I knew that that was the case I’d got myself in a bit of a state – was I going to just move on to the next stage, or did I want to repeat the run to make sure I had completed it?

I’m someone who likes to complete things properly; but I’m also someone who doesn’t like to get out of a set routine – could I do week 3 run 1 twice? So what will I do in the future? I think I’d prefer to make sure I’ve done each the stages properly – there’s a reason for it! Hopefully I’ll manage the ‘run’ tomorrow so I can move on next time!

I’ll keep you posted

Wednesday Wonders: Determination

Yesterday both the husband and E said that they appreciated and recognised the determination in me. I’m not sure that this was a characteristic I considered of myself so why do others see it?

Yesterday I woke up hurting and tired after having had a seizure the night before. Yet I did over 13000 steps during the day yesterday ending in a session of couch to 5K. I think this is what led to the acknowledgement of determination. I have started certain apps recently; I appreciate the acknowledgement of my achievements, love smiley face, and therefore I want to continue! it was difficult yesterday and would have been so much easier to stay at home.

When I looked up the definition, as I like to do, this is what I discovered…

possessing or displaying resolve. “Helen was a determined little girl”

Linking it back to the picture I definitely think it is linked with keeping your eyes fixed on what you want to achieve, and allowing that to drive you on a day to day basis.

Taking Control

When I first started writing this blog, which I’ve just discovered was 1st August 2015, I had lost nearly 4stone, was walking loads and doing lots of other exercise, was seizure free, and was generally enjoying life. I started writing the blog because apparently I had influenced people – and I wanted to explore what that was all about!

So that was 7 years ago…

A LOT has happened since then – shockingly! But over the last 3-4 years there has been very little exercise, the weight has piled on to more than ever, seizure activity has increased in numerous ways, and enjoyment… well… let’s say down and up but definitely not a stable experience in my life!

I know that a lot of these things are intertwined, but I also know that I’ve allowed things to develop and grow.

Let me give an example to try and explain…

When my epilepsy was particularly bad I didn’t feel safe in the kitchen – understandable. However, this developed to a way of life that meant I rarely went in to the kitchen, and if the husband was out I survived on deliveries!

Another example… after having a couple of occasions of having seizures on the pavement/road I was scared to walk on my own let alone go running. I would always let people know if I was going somewhere and when I was back. I cancelled my gym membership because I was afraid to use ANY of the equipment.

So because of my epilepsy, along with some other pretty major events in my life, things are looking very different to how they did 7 years ago. I’m not enjoying life particularly, but I wouldn’t say I’m enduring it either.

A few weeks ago I started to take control. I’ve started cooking again – massive milestone! I’m walking a lot more and last week I even started my couch to 5K again.

I’m not a great gamer – hence the picture of the joystick at the top! But I’m going to attempt a gaming analogy! I feel like I’m at the start of a new chapter, I’m in control of my character however there are also other characters there as well being controlled by others. I can only control me and how I respond to the other parts of the level and that’s what I need to focus on at the moment.

Wednesday Wonders: Legacy


When I looked up the meaning of the word legacy the focus was mostly on items left after the death of someone; for example money; or houses, artwork etc…

This stumped me a bit, as that wasn’t going to be my focus. Over the last month I don’t think I’ve EVER heard the word legacy so much. The husband may even go as far as to say it’s been banded around! It’s definitely not being used in terms of articles being left in a will; so what is legacy and why is it being used so much?

The first time we noticed it being used so much was at the Commonwealth games; whether that was talking about the games themselves having para events running alongside, or that there were more medals available to women than men; it was also used for different athletes and what they achieved.

Alongside the games there were also the lionesses and winning the women’s euro’s. There have also been some specific people; people doing challenges on behalf of people they have lost or to raise awareness of different things. Yesterday I heard the word being used in relation to Dame Deborah James and how she responded to her diagnosis of bowel cancer.

So what do all of these events and people have in common that the word legacy is being used? They may not have left anything physical to specific people BUT they have left a message, an example, many of the people are role-models.

Maybe it’s time for the idea of legacy to change? We live in a multi-media world (says the blogger); the way in which people can leave things to others is so different. We have influencers; things go viral; one of the big reasons that people became aware of Dame Deborah James was because of her podcast, and videos which were then shared. It’s also so much easier to watch things from around the world that then share the messages of numerous people.

We may talk about the legacy of other people, but maybe it’s time to think of the legacy we are leaving for others!