Taking Control

When I first started writing this blog, which I’ve just discovered was 1st August 2015, I had lost nearly 4stone, was walking loads and doing lots of other exercise, was seizure free, and was generally enjoying life. I started writing the blog because apparently I had influenced people – and I wanted to explore what that was all about!

So that was 7 years ago…

A LOT has happened since then – shockingly! But over the last 3-4 years there has been very little exercise, the weight has piled on to more than ever, seizure activity has increased in numerous ways, and enjoyment… well… let’s say down and up but definitely not a stable experience in my life!

I know that a lot of these things are intertwined, but I also know that I’ve allowed things to develop and grow.

Let me give an example to try and explain…

When my epilepsy was particularly bad I didn’t feel safe in the kitchen – understandable. However, this developed to a way of life that meant I rarely went in to the kitchen, and if the husband was out I survived on deliveries!

Another example… after having a couple of occasions of having seizures on the pavement/road I was scared to walk on my own let alone go running. I would always let people know if I was going somewhere and when I was back. I cancelled my gym membership because I was afraid to use ANY of the equipment.

So because of my epilepsy, along with some other pretty major events in my life, things are looking very different to how they did 7 years ago. I’m not enjoying life particularly, but I wouldn’t say I’m enduring it either.

A few weeks ago I started to take control. I’ve started cooking again – massive milestone! I’m walking a lot more and last week I even started my couch to 5K again.

I’m not a great gamer – hence the picture of the joystick at the top! But I’m going to attempt a gaming analogy! I feel like I’m at the start of a new chapter, I’m in control of my character however there are also other characters there as well being controlled by others. I can only control me and how I respond to the other parts of the level and that’s what I need to focus on at the moment.

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