I have been known to be a scary teacher.

What this tends to mean to teenagers is that I have rules in the classroom, I expect them to be followed, and there are consequences if not. I’m not so good with this myself!

I was talking to someone yesterday about some of the things that have made me feel better over the last couple of weeks, and it was things like writing the blogs (allowing time to reflect); playing the piano and singing; going out more regularly for walks; completing more walk; talking face to face with friends.

HOWEVER even though I know that these were beneficial and probably helped towards me being more productive (not just with work) I said to this person that I didn’t want to be prescriptive about when I would do these things because I would be less likely to do them, and therefore less productive overall.

I think it’s fair to say I’m a rather complex and contradictory person.

I like to know what I need to get done; but I don’t like to be told exactly how it is to be done

I like to be encouraged to do things; but once it’s an expectation I’m less likely to do them

I like to do things that make me feel good; but once I’m being told to do them I tend to stop

You probably get the general gist, but I think it’s important that I recognise this weakness in me. After all, I’m the only one who can really do anything about it. I believe that I have been created with certain skills, and have been given certain calls in life. I also have been created with an amazing ability of stubbornness.

To have things prescribed for me really is not beneficial (apart from my medications) so I need to try and find the times and opportunities to be able to do the things from allow me to be productive, and therefore avoid actions having to be predictive.

To quickly return to me being a scary teacher. It may take a couple of lessons but it is generally recognised that the rules are necessary to be able to have productive lessons. I may not want to be too predictive in my own life, but there has to be some element to allow for productivity. Once, or should I say if, I find the balance I’ll let you know.