Confidence

Two weeks ago my confidence took a battering. I had a seizure into the road… this isn’t anything new… I made a mess of my face and damaged my wrist… nothing new… I had absolutely no warning that it was coming at all – knocked out of the ball park!

Since I was diagnosed at 11 I’ve been encouraged to be independent, careful, sensible but independent! Two weeks ago I questioned if I was able to leave the house on my own. I had to take time off work and I was starting to question if I should even be considering teaching any more. It got to a stage where I knew that if I didn’t go in, I might never do so.

E has been inundated with ‘I’ve left the house’ ‘I’ve arrived at work’ ‘ I’m home’. On Sunday I needed to get home, but the husband wanted to stay to help tidy after a meal, but he could sense that I didn’t feel confident walking home on my own.

Over this week my confidence has started to build up again and I think this is for a few reasons

  • I’ve been in the classroom a lot with new groups so have had to speak about my epilepsy, talking about it from the perspective of 27 years and the challenges I’ve overcome changes things!
  • I’ve been teaching and have therefore been back into routine which has happened with little or no hiccups
  • My friends and loved ones have listened to me when I’ve cried about being scared, or when I’ve wanted someone to essentially hold my hand. They haven’t told me I’m stupid they’ve just walked beside me.

Confidence comes from our environment and our family and friends. All of us will have our confidence knocked and will know people who have been knocked. The question is… how do we respond?

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