The Lull

I’m a bit lost.

I’m slightly overwhelmed.

I’m… well… I don’t really know.

Social media has been inundated with people’s accounts of the last decade, which, not surprisingly gets you thinking. My decade… my year… so much must have happened and yet… it also doesn’t feel like it – especially when looking at friends.

Then of course there is looking forward to the next year, the next decade… often there is a sense of what could be occurring, where things could be heading… but I’m at a loss. In terms of health, work, and other areas I’m very aware of how unsure I am of what is going to be happening.

So I find myself in this weird lull, trying to snap myself out, and failing miserably. The definition of lull is a period of inactivity, and I can promise that’s what I’m accomplishing at the moment. Maybe because I don’t know what is to come, and because I feel I need to accomplish something (other than the lull).

In the summer one of my A-Level pupils gave me a book – ‘a year with C.S.Lewis’ – its as if I talk about Narnia a lot in my lessons! Anywho, I read the first reading today. The readings are short, manageable, and meaningful. This was more of a present than I realised.

I get overwhelmed easily, and I feel like haven’t accomplished much easily as well. I need to not focus on the last year/decade and not focus on the next one but take each day making it manageable and meaningful.

Relying upon those that provide me with strength and power when I can’t find it for myself

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