I was in Birmingham last week visiting family with the husband. When we were out we found that when we were in the sun it was hot, I had to put sunglasses on, and sometimes there was a need to take a layer off. Then… as soon as we were in the shad it was really cold, the sunglasses had to go back on top of the head, and the layer was put back on. On the train and bus journeys I found that my sunglasses were going on and off so much that it was probably causing more of a strobe-like effect than passing through trees with the sun shining through.
Anywho… don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a new experience, and I wasn’t shocked at all, BUT it got me thinking. The thing that stood out for me the most was the frequency that the change was happening, but also the huge difference between being in the sun and being in the shade.
My life has been like this recently, and I feel so sorry for my friends and family, but so immensely grateful for them. Within a week I will go from being happy, positive, getting on with it, to a crying wreck of a person, to angry and anxious. Sometimes this can all happen within a day! The contrast is immense, the frequency is immense, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going and it takes a lot out of me.
When we were out in Birmingham we continued with our journey no matter what. It got a bit frustrating at times, especially, for me, the raising and lowering of sunglasses – feeble I know! That’s what I’m having to do at the moment, is just keeping going. There are times when I cover myself up and hide away from the elements, but there are other times when I try to soak in as much as I can whilst I can. Throughout it all I have the constant foundation of my faith, and also the love and support of my friends and family who know whether to allow me to protect myself from the storm, come and dance in the puddles, or come and soak up the sun rays and enjoy the bright spell.
At the moment I’m not really in control (at least I don’t feel I am), but I can be aware of what is best for me in the different weather fronts of my life, and be aware of the frequency that it can change. I can also look forward to the spring season of growth and blossom – I really do pray that comes around again soon!