It’s been 3 years since I started writing this blog, and although there have been many points of confusion throughout I think this is the first time that I feel like ‘I’ am lost. Let me try and explain.
I have conversations, I attempt tasks, I go places, I look in the mirror, and I do not recognise the person I am, and I cannot see any likeness to any version of me that I have known. I started writing the blog because of lifestyle changes that I had chosen to make, but even though there were radical differences I still felt like it was me.
Once again lifestyle changes are being made, but these are out of necessity rather than out of choice. Whether that is ensuring that there is someone I know at a social gathering or putting things in place for returning to work so that survival can happen. It’s all necessary.
There is a good chance that this is just the way I am seeing things at the moment, I’m not sure, although I also don’t think I’d believe anyone if they told me it was!
I don’t know if I should be looking for ‘me’, if should be searching for the new version of me that may be to come, or whether I should just be doing what I’m doing with every day at the moment and just taking it as it comes.