My answer to the question ‘how are you?’ Over the last few weeks has been ‘I’m surviving’ and my aim for term has been to survive – which I have accomplished, albeit holding on by my finger tips!
The dictionary definition of survival is “the state of continuing to exist in spite of difficult circumstances”. I didn’t know the specific definition but I would say that is a very accurate account of the state I have been. I have been going through the every day rituals doing what I needed to do but that is all I have been able to do, and that has been a struggle a lot of the time.
So what now? Now that I have survived? I’m not entirely sure is the entirely honest answer. I know there is going to be some complete resting for a couple of weeks, switching off completely from work related stuff. Then… trying to put some practical things in place so that I don’t find myself ‘surviving’ again.
My job is two-part 1. Teaching 2. Christian development – both of which require me to enable growth in others. This is only possible if I am allowing growth for myself… therefore survival isn’t an option… I need to try and find the possibilities to grow and develop and thrive.
If I were to start a blog now I’m not sure I’d come up with the title enjoying not enduring… after all survival suggests endurance! I need to be patient with myself and not put too much pressure on myself but I’m aiming to get back to the enjoying part! Are you ready for the journey?