In the moment… no ifs…

The husband has been away this week, he has been away with work… on a cruise… to Guernsey, Spain, and France! I may have taken the mick quite a bit especially about food consumed but he has had 24/7 sole responsibility for another adult so I imagine it has had its challenges as well! This has meant that I have had to find entertainment for myself, as me left alone with my brain at the moment does not seem to end well!

Anywho… on Monday I had supper with E. this was actually the first time I’ve properly seen her for ages, yes we pretty much have daily contact and I’ve spoken to her on the phone but actually sitting down talking in person! As always I came away feeling … I have to admit I’m actually really struggling to find the words here at the moment… I felt good but I also felt challenged – which actually is quite normal with E, and something I think is a sign of friendship!

This got me thinking though, someone had asked me how I knew E. there’s the obvious answer of meeting through church, but the more long winded answer involves ifs…. if the church was going through a building project… if we hadn’t decided to go that group… would I have got to know E?

I sometimes ask similar questions about the husband. I met him when I was at uni, and he had come home. The reason he had come home was not a pleasant one. If he hadn’t had to come home would I have met him?

Does it matter? Or should I just be so so so grateful that I have both the husband and E in my life?

As well as wondering what life would have been like if I hadn’t met certain people, recently I’ve been jumping ahead too. I’m not going to go into details, but my brain has been causing me some issues. At times this has led me to question my career as a teacher! I have had to have several people remind me that I am jumping way ahead. That is not a concern I need to be thinking about now, or any time soon – and hopefully not at all.

Why do we do this? Why do we think about what our lives might have been like? Why do we take simple things and create an idea of what our life is going to be? There’s something to be said for living in the moment – yes you get to enjoy it and make the most of every second, but also you can deal with what issues are happening as opposed to the ones you think may come your way!

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