Recalibratimg

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

I walk the same way to work every day, but then one day my path was blocked, I stood in front of the ‘do not enter’ tape for about 2 minutes. I was confused, perplexed, flummoxed. What was I meant to do? Which way was I meant to go? I had to suddenly become aware of my surroundings and work out the best way to go.

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

Over the last 3 years I have moved church, changed my eating habits, lost weight, started running, started blogging, stopped living on the sofa, discovered walking,discovered my vocation of being a teacher, developed new friendships, and had much improved seizure control. That’s a lot of stuff in a short space of time, and those are just the big things. 

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

Whilst all these changes have been taking place I’ve just been getting on with it. Yes, I’ve been somewhat reflective over different things, but on the whole I’ve just got on with it. I’ve been a paying attention to different things en route, but generally I’ve been on autopilot. People who have walked with me don’t necessarily see the changes, people who I’ve only recently met only know the ‘new’ version, it’s when I see people who I haven’t seen for some time and they don’t recognise me. This isn’t just because of the size but because I look younger and have more energy.

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

About 3.5 months ago a block was put in my path. A virus, which resulted in the first seizures for 18 months, and two weeks back on the sofa. Whilst being forced to rest, well… I rested. But then whilst I was slowly getting back in to the swing of things I started to think about the amount that has changed but what that meant for me. I had changed a lot, and I had been aware of all the little things that had contributed to that along the way, but I had missed, or wasn’t aware of the bigger picture. 

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

I needed to stop. I needed to recalibrate. I needed to take the time to take in the surroundings, to pay attention to who I was and what that meant for the direction I was heading. A friend told me I needed to be aware of my story to be a story teller. So I took a sabbatical. I’ve had three months of just going to church rather than doing jobs, just doing my job at work rather than anything additional, not blogging. It’s been a really exciting time, although there have been many tears as well. Ive spent a lot of time on my own, and have also participated in a couple of retreats. I’ve learnt a lot about myself over the last 3 months, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you over the next few months. 

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened in a short space of time.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it.

A lot has happened in a short space of time, and I’ve missed quite a bit of it because I’ve been on autopilot.

Don’t worry I’m not going to suddenly announce that I’m stopping teaching and moving to a far flung island. My route hasn’t really changed but I have taken the time to allow my internal sat nav to recalibrate again, and suddenly things are a lot clearer. Now to continue with the journey, trying to pay attention. 

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