Yesterday I had a highly embarrassing experience… I had my contact lens check. The letters were put up, they were huge, and I couldn’t read them! I was taking an educated guess by a vague shape. So the optician puts a lens in front of my eyes, and it wasn’t much better. He says very nicely, “how careful are you when putting the lens in the correct place?” (Right and Left) I said that I was always careful, at which point he asked me to take out the lenses but to possibly put them in opposite cases. I did as instructed, he checked my eyes, then I put the lenses in and suddenly it was all a lot clearer. What a plonker!

Obviously I confessed this to E straight away who said she was literally laughing out loud, and that it summed up my week. The scary thing is that it really did sum up my week. It’s been a somewhat stressful week including a lot of tears, anxiety attacks, a bit of petit meal jitteriness and a few more tears. Similarly to the contact lens fiasco this has all led to a much clearer view of things, and to me making a pretty massive decision, which I already had made, but this has cemented it.

Whilst at the opticians I was asked if there were any problems, the only thing I said was that I always seem to lose one whilst at the end of the month and they never have my prescription in stock. As soon as I said that he ordered me a back-up pair! 

I knew things were blurry but I based it on the stress that was going on, and the tears. Instead, if I had acknowledged there was an issue I could have found a solution. The problem I had pointed out,  had a solution. If I had shed light on the problem before, I would have found a solution earlier. We’re very good at covering over problems, just getting on with things, accepting that that is just what happens. Solutions don’t come unless problems are acknowledged. 

My body started telling me this week that we had a Problem. I knew there was, but I let it get too far. At least I listened to my body, previously I would have continued to push myself but I didn’t. I need to get to the point that I am able to preempt the breakdown, acknowledge the problem before it takes over me!

I’m also pretty certain I may have said that before… progress is being made but progress appears to be slow!