I’m good at a lot of things, but I’m not an expert at anything. I’m not saying this to blow my own trumpet or to seek praise and compliments, it’s just who I am. I have grown up doing a lot of different things, and I am so grateful for that, but with everything I have done, there have always been people who naturally, and through no fault of theirs or mine, are better than me.
As a child I swam, which I could do well, but I was never very quick. I played the piano, which was good, but I had to work flippin hard at it, similarly with clarinet, although clarinet was slightly easier because you only had to play one line, but there were still others who were naturally better. At school I did OK, but…
This has led me to being a tryer, an ideas person. Which, in turn, has led to me not always being a finisher. I would start something, realise it didn’t come naturally, that I was going to have to work hard, and then stop. Afterall that was easier than working hard, to still not be the best! The amount of projects I started… Knitting, air fix, cross stitch, teaching myself saxophone and guitar (at separate times)… Many are still unfinished, in fact I think my mum may have just finished knitting the jumper I started in secondary school.
This, I think, is the thing that has changed the most in my life since January 2015 – I’m having ideas and I’m not only running with them, but I’m seeing them through. I’ve recognised that with me, it’s not about speed, it’s not about excellence, it’s about stamina and consistency.
I’ve tried to lose weight before. I’ve tried to exercise more before. I’ve tried to walk to work before. I’ve tried to mark regularly before. I’ve tried to plan before. I’ve tried to write blogs before. Every time I’ve stopped before I’ve ever really started.
Now… I’ve lost weight, I’m exercising, I’m walking to and from work, I’ve had the most enjoyable teaching year to date – partly because of regular marking, I’m planning my life and work better, and this is my 100th blog post.
One of my first blog posts, was that I was doing this for me, not for anyone else. That is still the same. That sounds ridiculously selfish, but what I mean is that I’m not worrying about who’s the best, losing weight because people have told me I should, going fast than others. I’m doing what works for me, and I’m doing it for me, so that, in turn, I’m in a better shape and place, to be beneficial to others.
I’m still very much on a journey, I have no idea where it will take me, and I ow that really, there isn’t a finish line, and least not one that will stay still! Therefore, I need to keep running the race that has been set before me at a pace that is comfortable for me and no one else!
Will the learning ever stop? I hope not!
As this is no100 I would like to say a huge thank you for all of your support with this blog. It was something I started as instructed by the mother in law, I never thought I’d continue, and never thought it would be read by so many! I still don’t really know what I’m doing right, but I’m doing something and apparently influencing and inspiring others – who’d have thought it! So once again, thank you all x