Stuck in the middle

The last but one week of the year is sports week, everyone has their house colours on, the war paint is put on (that is literal), patriotism is nothing compared to house loyalty at the school! 

The pupils are hoping that the teachers have signed up to judge an event so they can go out on the field and support their housemates (it’s got nothing to do with missing lessons – honestly). The teachers are hoping the sun is shining so they can go out to judge events (again it’s got nothing to do with missing lessons). 

The big event for each year group which all heads of he try to sign up to judge is the tug of war! It really is like war! Some matches are over within seconds, others can go on for ages. The screams get louder and louder, never do you see so much team work. It is AWESOME!

But why am I talking about tug of war? Because I really do feel like I’m the marker in the middle, I’m being pulled in different directions. Unfortunately it isn’t one of those clear cut, second long, wars. It is a long and painful process. I’ve been trying to work out what the word is, to describe my state of mind at the moment and confusion just doesn’t seem to cut it!

I’m doing what I can, I’m surrounding myself with support, but unfortunately the screams seem to be quite loud on both sides. I’m digging down, but the more I dig the more I seem to stay still being pulled in both directions but no side winning; I’m holding on tight, but I’m starting to wonder if I need to let go, my problem is I don’t know which bit to let go of.

I know this isn’t one of my most insightful posts, but it is an insight into my brain at the moment! There are loads of questions, now I just have to listen for the answers! I haven’t listened to my iPod for a week now, so hopefully the answers may come!

I’m going to attempt to comfort myself with a continuation of the tug of war metaphor – the sense of achievement and relief is so much greater after a real battle – maybe that will be the same once there is a winner for me!

Sorry if this is too cryptic but it’s a war of my own at the moment and I don’t want to confuse things with too many people in the know!

I will, however, let you know the winner once I know!

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