Exposed

  

Today is another first! I chose to wear a dress and boots to work, oh yes, and I’m trying out contact lenses! Let’s put this into context, I’ve worn glasses since I was 3 years old. They tried to get me into contact lenses for my wedding, which I declined my argument being ‘I will be wearing a dress, heels, have my hair done properly and wearing make up – I want my husband to recognise me’!

Once again I had a certain view of my identity! I felt my glasses were a humongous part of who I was! I took ages choosing my glasses – and although they were all fantastic at the time, looking back there were some horrific choices! But the glasses had to be the right ones! I’ve been asked so many times about wearing contacts, especially after breaking numerous pairs of glasses through seizures and my accident proneness! But my response has always been the same ‘no way – I don’t like me without glasses’. That is how much I associated glasses with my identity – I didn’t think I looked like me without glasses!

So, after 31 years what has changed? Once again it’s the running! As I run, or go to the gym I spend so much time pushing my glasses up, as they fall down especially once sweaty as well, that I started to think about the idea of contacts. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while, and actually really struggling with the idea as well! But as E said to me, I’ve got to learn to let things go.

So today I went to the opticians, and I thought it was just to see if I would be able to wear contacts. I came out with my glasses in my bag! It feels very strange, and I honestly do feel very exposed. It was windy as I was walking home and I didn’t realise how much protection my glasses gave me. I looked in a mirror and saw the bags!  The glasses were hiding things as well! I don’t do make up but I’m starting to think that may be another lesson I need to take up!

Glasses have been a humongous part of my life, and my identity. But as I’ve learnt over the last few months, my identity is so much more than what I wear and how I look. I have to learn to let go of what I think makes me, me, and enjoy what I was and where I am! So I now need to get used to not wearing glasses, I’m quite excited. It will make the journeying easier as the rain on the glasses really gets in the way when walking or running!

Either that or it is all my part of my cunning plan to not be recognised by anyone! 

I will end by telling you that you should all consider yourselves lucky as I wanted to call this blog ‘lens be having you’ but the husband wouldn’t let me! So here’s to another, possibly clearer step on the journey!

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