It’s good to be awake! 

 
Yesterday was a fantastic day! I did my first 30 minute run; I reached the 4 stone mark; I had an epilepsy sister appointment which was so short, and highly encouraging (I’m now on phone contact only for the next year); I walked along the sea front from Tankerton to Herne Bay; had a lovely chat with my mother in law who then took me and the husband out for a LOVELY Turkish meal as an early anniversary present.

On our way home the husband said ‘it’s great having the new you at home’! Considering he hasn’t said a huge amount about everything other than ‘what do you mean we’ve got to go for a walk’ and ‘you’re going for another run?’ Or ‘what are you going to make me do now?’ So I was rather shocked when he said, I asked what he meant, but he wouldn’t explain and I decided not to probe – that doesn’t normally work, believe me I’ve tried!

So later on, I just quietly asked ‘what did you mean earlier?’ To which he replied ‘it’s just so nice that you’re awake, and not out of it all the time,’

If I’m honest, I was firstly overwhelmed by the sweetness of the comment, but then a bit horrified that that’s what he used to think of me.

My husband would never ever have said anything to me, he doesn’t complain about anything, he just gets on with it all.  This was my first thought, he didn’t tell me to change! Although I know he wouldn’t have anyway.

But as I’ve been mulling over the statement in my head, he possibly didn’t even realise that I wasn’t awake, or that there was a problem, until he’s seen me since.

It really is fantastic to be awake! I feel like I’ve experienced more since January than I have done for ages! It’s not that I’ve done more, but what I’ve done I’ve appreciated a lot more and I’ve enjoyed a lot more. The afternoon naps are a thing of the past, and I’m going to bed later.

I had a conversation with a colleague the other day which went something like this

‘Helen you look fantastic’

‘Thanks, well I’ve lost nearly 4 stone now’ (whilst doing the awkward dance’

‘No, it’s not the weight, you are just glowing and look like you’re having a great time – what’s your secret?’

I’ve got my own ideas of what I used to be like, but I don’t think I really knew that that was what others thought as well. What I do know is that I have absolutely no intention of going back to the Helen I used to be! Life is great, and I have every intention of enjoying it’ll the full. 

Saying that I’m off to the gym, then for a swim, then do some school work, then head to a fancy dress party for the afternoon/evening/night!

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